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cube00 13 hours ago [-]
An amazingly detailed tribute, you'd have to think this was taken from a journal, in which case it's impressive to keep such a record of their life, or maybe Stephen just has a fantastic memory.
Even through that detail you can really feel how much he loved and admired her.
> Somehow in the shock of what has happened it feels as if I just met Elise, and now she is gone.
A reminder that time's cruelty is making the wonderful feel shorter than the painful.
> My only solace in this tragedy is that the end came instantly, after a day filled with nothing but joy.
Hopefully we're all lucky enough to be allowed to rest without suffering while surrounded by loved ones.
A read a story of a guy who bumped into him at conference and had some sort of conversation. The following week he received a follow-up from Wolfram's office with his assigned conversation number. The number was to be used for all follow-ups.
(If the location link doesn't work, scroll down about halfway to the story next to his photo.)
detourdog 11 hours ago [-]
Probably I used to read his blog.
MengerSponge 12 hours ago [-]
I remember reading about a personal CRM project called Monica years ago. Does anyone here still use it? Is there an actively maintained alternative?
bharatsuthar 2 hours ago [-]
I used their hosted platform about 8 years ago and It went down many times. I just checked it today and to my surprise, my data is still there. Very glad to find it.
rsolva 11 hours ago [-]
I still have an instance of it running and get email reminders about birthdays, but no, I don't think it has been actively developed for years.
Last commit was a little over 11 months. There do seem to be a couple of signifiant security issues opened since then, with no response. Someone created a fork: https://github.com/brycehans/monica
bharatsuthar 2 hours ago [-]
We need more personal CRMs in general. Monica is too outdated by today's standards. There's one called Dex but no free plans there and it's a bit too complicated for a personal CRM, like a business-like onboarding, linkedin/notion integrations etc.
I'd personally prefer something that's easy to use and can intelligently keep track of my personal contacts that I may find valuable in years or decades from now. About a decade ago, I added three friends on Monica and I'm really glad to see the records again. I wish I added more details but I remember the process of adding someone was boring and unrewarding. It still is.
Edit: Dex is about $12/mo for the base plan. I don't think I'd be willing to drop that much dough for a personal CRM. Of course there's an option to self-organize/self-host it.
QuantumNomad_ 3 hours ago [-]
There should be more forks of it, simply because each of the other forks so obviously need to pick the remaining names from that song that goes
There was also iwantsandy but that might be a bit too obscure now!
matheusmoreira 1 hours ago [-]
> assigned conversation number
... I'm tempted to start doing this.
RataNova 3 hours ago [-]
That line about feeling as though they had just met was devastating. Thirty-six years can contain an entire life and still feel impossibly brief once the person is gone.
sebmellen 7 hours ago [-]
I met Stephen in 2023 at some MIT AI conference. He was the kindest, most grandfatherly person. I was expecting to meet a relatively pontifical person given some of his work, but he was such the opposite that I was completely taken aback. I spent two hours that evening with him and a small group of people talking about language and maths and so on. (He was very kind to let me take a photo: https://postimg.cc/LYmVCs0G)
That conversation had a tremendous impact on me and completely changed my attitude towards meeting new people.
I am heartbroken for him and his family. And I can see that kind / heartfelt / grandfatherly nature throughout this memoriam.
And please, God, let me die with my wife like John Nash did in that NJ Turnpike taxi crash.
jvdsf 3 hours ago [-]
I will be honest with you, this is my worst nightmare- to die after my wife. Life will be here without her, but it will be without her light.
sriram_malhar 2 hours ago [-]
An aged uncle of mine (who loved his wife very much) once said, "I hope she goes before me. I'd never want her to face the pain of my leaving". Such love.
beardedwizard 4 hours ago [-]
> And please, God, let me die with my wife like John Nash did in that NJ Turnpike taxi crash.
amen brother.
m101 17 minutes ago [-]
I’ve been a light reader of Stephen Wolfram’s work over the years. I am grateful he’s taken the time to write this tribute. May she rest in peace and condolences to Stephen.
How I considered Stephen coming in to this:
1) he is wonderfully generous with his ideas and knowledge, especially towards the young. I think this is an extremely good quality.
2) he attracts envy from many people, partly because of his successes, but also because of his manner. I feel his manner is often totally unintentional to cause upset, but also I think he’s so unashamedly himself and how he wants to be that it is sometimes verging on rude, which people hold against him (mostly unfairly, sometimes fairly)
3) given his commitment to work I always wondered about how he balanced his personal life amongst all that
What I found very interesting about this letter was how his personal relationship seems to have been in keeping with the man we see on the outside:
1) the first thing in the lists on his wife, as well as what he spends significant time on in the letter, are her intellectual capabilities. He is a man of intellect through and through, and it shows in how he writes of his wife.
2) he mentions how he has failed to collaborate with her for their entire marriage because of their strong wills. It strikes me as somewhat sad that there’s this failure to connect somehow. It might be that a prioritisation of the intellect in life holds us back from virtues.
3) there were moments where he talks about how she was intuitively right and how he had to work things out by taking “the long way”. I just get the feeling that a lot of their relationship was somehow like this - where something obvious to the normal intuition is something to be worked out by the intellect.
4) I think there might be an element of regret in this letter. A regret that perhaps a connection could have been different had one chosen to indulge one’s intellect less. I feel like this moment perhaps made Stephen’s mind pause for a moment on that - an all too human pause.
ajb 11 hours ago [-]
This is a moving tribute. Stephen Wolfram's writing often has certain faults, which I mention only to be able to say that he has here transcended them; this is a genuine and heartfelt piece of writing which makes me feel sad for his loss.
ACS_Solver 10 hours ago [-]
Yes, it's a very well written, touching tribute and I think it's all the more touching when you're familiar enough with Wolfram's writings to notice the contrast here.
arm32 10 hours ago [-]
It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever read in my entire life. The reader departs both fallen in love with Elise and tragically heartbroken. Excuse me while I go cry some more in the laundry room, collect myself and annoy my wife with a huge hug.
RataNova 3 hours ago [-]
He is not trying to impress the reader so much as preserve as much of her as he can while the memories are still vivid
kreelman 6 hours ago [-]
Vale Elise.
mc32 9 hours ago [-]
[dead]
senderista 10 hours ago [-]
This was really moving and sincere. It made me think of my dad's catastrophic stroke while recovering from brain surgery. I wish that, like Wolfram's wife, he had died instantly on the operating table instead of enduring six years of agony for himself and everyone else.
reassess_blind 10 hours ago [-]
That’s tough. Sorry that you all had to go through that.
adamredwoods 13 hours ago [-]
It's a profound thing to lose someone that intertwined in your life. I should know.
keane 2 hours ago [-]
I'm sorry to hear that. My deepest sympathies.
klustregrif 11 hours ago [-]
A very beautiful tribute to her life and memory.
My condolences go out to her family.
steve_adams_86 13 hours ago [-]
It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but, god damn does it still hurt to move through that loss. I'm glad it was fast and painless for her and her family.
gorgoiler 11 hours ago [-]
Thank you for the quote. Here is the verse in full…
In Memoriam AHH, Tennyson
I envy not in any moods
The captive void of noble rage,
The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods:
I envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter'd by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;
Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;
Nor any want-begotten rest.
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it when I sorrow most;
Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
zem 10 hours ago [-]
tennyson had another immortal line that I reach for in times like this: "But oh for the touch of a vanished hand, and the sound of a voice that is still"
I keep coming back to In Memoriam AHH way more often than I would expect; it’s really a great piece of poetry.
11 hours ago [-]
inigyou 11 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
Spooky23 10 hours ago [-]
There are different ways to go. I lost my beautiful wife to cancer that was aggressive. The ups and downs, the terror and the joy of hope is brutal. At some point she knew, pretty late in the game but didn’t want to let us all down.
My dad died from an aortic rupture. He went to grab turkey to make a sandwich and didn’t make it back from the pantry.
It’s all hard, but knowing what she went through and the second guessing and impossible questions we all went through, I’ll take the fatal cardiac event any day.
steve_adams_86 10 hours ago [-]
My understanding is that these catastrophic events typically leave the victim unconscious before they have much time to suffer. I'm not an expert so I'm prepared to be wrong. I hope that was the case for her. I'm aware it could have hurt, too — I suppose the sentiment is that this wasn't a drawn out, needlessly arduous event of waiting and suffering.
inigyou 10 hours ago [-]
My understanding is that people have enough time to register "holy fucking shit, this is it, I'm about to die" before they pass out.
That's why they archetypically clutch their chests.
9 hours ago [-]
applfanboysbgon 10 hours ago [-]
> she had a freak, vast cardiovascular event—and died instantly
> But then, soon after, disaster struck, and she collapsed, the victim of a massive cardiovascular event. My only solace in this tragedy is that the end came instantly
Perhaps because you are contradicting the author of the tribute with your own unfounded assumptions about the particulars of her passing. I would wager he knows a little bit more about what she experienced than you, surmising in generalities, do. And really, what is the purpose of this quibbling? "Ah yes, I can't let this grieving man have any comfort -- I must assert that actually, his wife must've suffered quite a lot before she died".
tyromaniac 10 hours ago [-]
[dead]
b3lvedere 28 minutes ago [-]
I am so sorry for your loss Mr. Wolfram.
skyberrys 4 hours ago [-]
A beautiful read, that is both happy and sad. Sad because the days of their conversations have past. Happy because the memories of their conversations will live on. But since her passing is so sudden, more sad than happy, there are so many things she didn't get to finish.
BewareTheYiga 13 hours ago [-]
What a beautiful tribute.
crtified 4 hours ago [-]
As everybody privileged-to-know knows, a long term partner becomes an equal, and you theirs. One of life's greatest blessings. There is nothing like it.
binyu 13 hours ago [-]
I am so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful and touching tribute and she was lucky to have such a loving husband.
jacobgold 2 hours ago [-]
Sounds like Elise Cawley had a great life. Stephen Wolfram has an incredible mind and this post is a great example.
frou_dh 12 hours ago [-]
That's neat that she designed their house. When I've seen photos of Wolfram in his house I've always thought it looked an awesome high-class place.
Hasz 7 hours ago [-]
damn. I am so sorry to hear his wife passed, my heart goes out to him and his family. What a thoughtful tribute.
I have always been a big fan of Stephen Wolfram, I had no idea his wife was such a great mathematician.
sohrob 4 hours ago [-]
It sounds like the author had an amazing partner and I'm sorry for his loss.
cglan 6 hours ago [-]
I have no words, but this tribute is beautiful. I can’t imagine losing someone like that after so many years. Heartbreaking
jasoneckert 13 hours ago [-]
This is a lovely and heartfelt tribute. Thanks for sharing this.
RataNova 3 hours ago [-]
The mathematical biography is fascinating, but it is the tiny domestic details that stay with you...
zoom6628 8 hours ago [-]
Beautiful and warmth-filled tribute to Elise . Gorgeous piece of writing reflecting his sense of joy, love and loss. A life well lived.
Sprotch 12 hours ago [-]
You can feel his love for her. Heartbreaking.
kylehotchkiss 10 hours ago [-]
> But from that moment on we talked essentially every day for 36 years
Man. Our culture is speed running away from one of the greatest joys you can have in your life (a healthy relationship). Stephen, if you can see this, thank you for opening up. Wishing you comfort and peace.
tim-projects 3 hours ago [-]
I once asked a 93 year old, what the best experience of his life was. He said being married to his wife until she died.
I've never forgotten that.
breezybottom 7 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
armitron 7 hours ago [-]
<edited> Wolfram is obviously a genius but, like a lot of geniuses, so ahead of his time that he'll be recognized, maybe, decades after his own death.
breezybottom 7 hours ago [-]
I can't think of any case where that's true. Einstein was recognized as a genius before his death. Most are recognized from childhood (Carl Friedrich Gauss, John Nash, Blaise Pascal, John von Neumann, etc.)
senderista 4 hours ago [-]
Wolfram was, in fact, a child (or at least teenage) prodigy.
myroon5 6 hours ago [-]
Seems more common in media fields (Van Gogh, Lovecraft, etc.)
6 hours ago [-]
arjie 12 hours ago [-]
Beautiful tribute. Perhaps a reminder to self to write my own version prior to our passing. Such misfortune to be taken so young.
copperx 13 hours ago [-]
Wonderful tribute.
lamroger 7 hours ago [-]
Beautiful tribute. May we all be seen so clearly with whatever time we have on this plane.
throwaway5752 9 hours ago [-]
Stephen, we haven't met, but this was a beautiful, heartbreaking tribute. Your wife was clearly an extraordinary person. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Should everyone have someone who loves them so much to remember them like this.
arsenkk 11 hours ago [-]
Beautifully written. My condolences and wish you all the best!
glimshe 11 hours ago [-]
I've been reading Wolfram quite a bit lately. I'm sad for him and the family, my condolences.
andromaton 12 hours ago [-]
Sorry for his loss, and for everybody helped by her in any way. However ineffective a comment like this is
Arshad-Talpur 10 hours ago [-]
What a tribute, what a way of writing, honestly i just felt i was living it
acm9680 5 hours ago [-]
she was loved, she was seen, she was valued.
arm32 10 hours ago [-]
I am not crying. You're crying. Oh, man. Rest in peace, Elise and I'm so sorry for your loss, Stephen.
JSeiko 10 hours ago [-]
My Condolences!
tibbydudeza 11 hours ago [-]
A beloved wife and mother and a brilliant partner as well.
My condolences to the family.
CommenterPerson 9 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
HumblyTossed 9 hours ago [-]
There was a time when people could write, and thus read, longer than a tweet. Some of us remember that time and are still able to do it.
prawn 6 hours ago [-]
It's a tribute and he tells you that in the second paragraph.
"But now that Elise is gone I cannot restrain myself from telling the world something about the remarkable person with whom I shared the past 36 years of my life."
13 hours ago [-]
lofaszvanitt 10 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
sebmellen 7 hours ago [-]
All death is a bit strange.
v64 7 hours ago [-]
Memento mori
altairprime 13 hours ago [-]
[flagged]
redsocksfan45 13 hours ago [-]
[dead]
inigyou 11 hours ago [-]
Well shit.
Also, certificate error, but that's forgiveable in the circumstances.
Even through that detail you can really feel how much he loved and admired her.
> Somehow in the shock of what has happened it feels as if I just met Elise, and now she is gone.
A reminder that time's cruelty is making the wonderful feel shorter than the painful.
> My only solace in this tragedy is that the end came instantly, after a day filled with nothing but joy.
Hopefully we're all lucky enough to be allowed to rest without suffering while surrounded by loved ones.
(If the location link doesn't work, scroll down about halfway to the story next to his photo.)
Last commit was a little over 11 months. There do seem to be a couple of signifiant security issues opened since then, with no response. Someone created a fork: https://github.com/brycehans/monica
I'd personally prefer something that's easy to use and can intelligently keep track of my personal contacts that I may find valuable in years or decades from now. About a decade ago, I added three friends on Monica and I'm really glad to see the records again. I wish I added more details but I remember the process of adding someone was boring and unrewarding. It still is.
Edit: Dex is about $12/mo for the base plan. I don't think I'd be willing to drop that much dough for a personal CRM. Of course there's an option to self-organize/self-host it.
A little bit of Monica in my life
https://genius.com/Lou-bega-mambo-no-5-a-little-bit-of-lyric...
... I'm tempted to start doing this.
That conversation had a tremendous impact on me and completely changed my attitude towards meeting new people.
I am heartbroken for him and his family. And I can see that kind / heartfelt / grandfatherly nature throughout this memoriam.
And please, God, let me die with my wife like John Nash did in that NJ Turnpike taxi crash.
amen brother.
How I considered Stephen coming in to this:
1) he is wonderfully generous with his ideas and knowledge, especially towards the young. I think this is an extremely good quality.
2) he attracts envy from many people, partly because of his successes, but also because of his manner. I feel his manner is often totally unintentional to cause upset, but also I think he’s so unashamedly himself and how he wants to be that it is sometimes verging on rude, which people hold against him (mostly unfairly, sometimes fairly)
3) given his commitment to work I always wondered about how he balanced his personal life amongst all that
What I found very interesting about this letter was how his personal relationship seems to have been in keeping with the man we see on the outside:
1) the first thing in the lists on his wife, as well as what he spends significant time on in the letter, are her intellectual capabilities. He is a man of intellect through and through, and it shows in how he writes of his wife.
2) he mentions how he has failed to collaborate with her for their entire marriage because of their strong wills. It strikes me as somewhat sad that there’s this failure to connect somehow. It might be that a prioritisation of the intellect in life holds us back from virtues.
3) there were moments where he talks about how she was intuitively right and how he had to work things out by taking “the long way”. I just get the feeling that a lot of their relationship was somehow like this - where something obvious to the normal intuition is something to be worked out by the intellect.
4) I think there might be an element of regret in this letter. A regret that perhaps a connection could have been different had one chosen to indulge one’s intellect less. I feel like this moment perhaps made Stephen’s mind pause for a moment on that - an all too human pause.
In Memoriam AHH, Tennyson
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45318/break-break-bre...
My dad died from an aortic rupture. He went to grab turkey to make a sandwich and didn’t make it back from the pantry.
It’s all hard, but knowing what she went through and the second guessing and impossible questions we all went through, I’ll take the fatal cardiac event any day.
That's why they archetypically clutch their chests.
> But then, soon after, disaster struck, and she collapsed, the victim of a massive cardiovascular event. My only solace in this tragedy is that the end came instantly
Perhaps because you are contradicting the author of the tribute with your own unfounded assumptions about the particulars of her passing. I would wager he knows a little bit more about what she experienced than you, surmising in generalities, do. And really, what is the purpose of this quibbling? "Ah yes, I can't let this grieving man have any comfort -- I must assert that actually, his wife must've suffered quite a lot before she died".
I have always been a big fan of Stephen Wolfram, I had no idea his wife was such a great mathematician.
Man. Our culture is speed running away from one of the greatest joys you can have in your life (a healthy relationship). Stephen, if you can see this, thank you for opening up. Wishing you comfort and peace.
I've never forgotten that.
Should everyone have someone who loves them so much to remember them like this.
"But now that Elise is gone I cannot restrain myself from telling the world something about the remarkable person with whom I shared the past 36 years of my life."
Also, certificate error, but that's forgiveable in the circumstances.